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Lisa David Dean_0080

not so nice things people say about me

“Lisa is always late” —Various Friends

“Lisa should be more organized” —My mom

“Lisa has anger issues”– The therapist I fired that always wore bicycle shorts and would sit across from me with his legs open and a hard  on, wanting to discuss my views on pornography.

“Lisa chews too loudly” —A colleague

“Lisa is very rude” —The mogul agent who asked to meet with me, but said he only had time during dinner and when I showed up to the restaurant tried to feed me my salad.

“Lisa is very cynical” —The chiropractor who told me I was stabbed in a past life , and that’s the only reason I had neck and back pain. And that it had nothing to do with the fact that I was in 3 car accidents in 4 months.

“Lisa can’t even feel productive by clearing room on her Tivo. Forty-two episodes of General Hospital, at least if she could get it down to thirty-five.” —My inner voice