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barbie

Just Like Barbie

Barbie, I’ve always believed that you & I are kindred spirits.
Like I’m 5’2 and you’re…well, you’re not even really a foot but proportionally you’re probably 5’10.
I have auburn hair & hazel eyes; you have blonde hair & blue eyes
I’m Jewish, you’re part of the Aryan race.
I have a vagina…wow, I guess we’re not as similar as I thought.
But we both have no nipples! Barbie, did you have breast cancer too?
I don’t ever remember seeing chemo Barbie…

We also both had our Ken dolls.
Barbie, was yours hiding a stash of child porn and screwing chicks with dicks on the side too??
Ok, maybe we don’t have that much in common. But both our relationships looked good on the outside.
I guess you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Wait a minute Barbie, can you even read?
Sorry, that was a low blow. I know you read Cosmo religiously.

Oh Barbie, you’ve always been known for your wisdom, like me.
Yet another thing we have in common.
You have always been, and continue to be my role model.
When I was in Junior High, you were my role model for a garden variety of eating disorders.
And now, you are my role model for being hot & superficial with no nipples.
Most importantly you are my six year old daughter’s biggest role model.
She says “When I grow up, I wanna be just like Barbie. She’s a teacher, a doctor, an astronaut and she can even turn into a mermaid!”

Thank you for empowering girls everywhere! I’ll always continue to lean on you, especially in my blog.

xo Your Friend Lisa